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Reveries and Soliloquies: March 2012

Reveries and Soliloquies

Friday, March 9, 2012

Overcoming the "S" Word

Joke of the Day: Old people at weddings always poke me and say, "You're Next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

The title of this blog is Woes of the Single Christian Female, and one word-yes, that word-has become a bone of contention of late. I picked this title because when I created this blog at the spry age of 20, it described my situation and point of view: single, Christian, and female. Only one of those words is a variable, but at times it feels like more of a branding. Almost five years later so much about me has changed, but that "S" word is still there and making its presence known. 

If I told you this hasn't started to bother me, I would be lying. As younger acquaintances and family members enter in to relationships, get married, and start families there is always that well meaning person who pats my knee and says, "Don't worry. There is someone out there for you too." Who was worrying? Well, geez thanks, now I am. Was the age of old maid lowered without my knowledge? Please God, don't let my inner Marissa Tomei ever come heel stomping to the surface! 
Well honey let me out of the pressure cooker because God has given me a revelation (via my not so little brother Matthew). Somehow a destructive lie has weaselled itself in to my brain (well, that's a lie-I know how it got there) that the ultimate pursuit in life is to fall in love, get married, and have children. While that is still very much the desire of my heart, it shouldn't be the first desire of my heart. I have let the dream of the Happily Ever After take over the dream of the Happily Starting Now. 

I have been following the series for singles by Rich Wilkerson Jr from the Rendezvous since my brother posted a link on Twitter. I was so convicted! I have allowed Satan to play up to my greatest insecurities on the battlefield that is my mind. Consequently, my relationship that is the most fulfilling and overflowing with unconditional love and intimacy-my relationship with God-has suffered.  I have unconsciously turned this into a selfish, Godless pursuit. Selfish in the sense that it is all about me (my wants, me needs) and Godless in the sense that I have pulled this area of my life out of His hands by worrying and complaining. 

Let's be honest-I'm no preacher. I have linked the 3 part series below and hope that it will bless you and speak to you as much as it has to me. I am actually excited again about this time in my life and looking forward to the endless possibilities for growth and maturity! 

Part 1: As It Turned Out

So I have made a choice, a choice that I am going to have to re-choose every morning. I am going to live full out for God and let Him be the love of my life. Anything He chooses to add will be a blessing, but I refuse to put the life He has called to me on hold.